New Democrat Tax Plan

We're seeing the major Republican candidates put forth their plans for reforming the tax code. Most of them involve cutting taxes in some form. Horribly upset at these proposed injustices, Democrat leadership is working on their own reform plan, which they will unveil later. It is a simple plan, probably the flattest tax plan that can be imagined:


Everyone in America pays 95% of their income to the Federal Government, who in turn will redistribute that money to those who they think deserve it.


There are a few exceptions - folks who fall into these categories will pay no income tax at all:

Anyone registered as a Democrat Voter, and can prove they voted for Obama

Anyone belonging to any racial minority

Anyone classified as an illegal immigrant

Anyone of the Jewish faith, unless they actually support Isreal

Anyone who received a liberal arts degree

Anyone who is a card carrying member of a national union

Any government employee who also belongs to a union

Any current or former member of ACORN

Anyone who believed Rev. Wright's sermons were loving gospel

Anyone who works for DailyKOS, Move On, MSNBC, CNN, Huffington, or the other perfectly balanced, logical, and completely fair quaility news outlets.

Any intern that did NOT complain about Bill Clinton's advances

Anyone who believes 9/11 was justified, or caused by US action

Anyone who believes that our efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan were simply attacks on peace loving peoples in order to steal their oil.

Anyone who makes under 100,000, and signs a pledge to support the Democrat Party for life

Anyone who makes over 100,000, and pledges to deliver one of these: A) yearly campaign donations of 5,000 or more, B) 25 or more manufactured votes per national election cycle, or C) perform on national TV, giving whatever false testimony the DNC provides to you as your own.

Anyone who will follow ACORN direction and actively participate in the Occupy Whatever movement for a minimum of 30 days.

Any person falling into these categories will receive monthly compensation checks from the government of such a size that they do not have to participate in any actual work. In addition, they will receive free healthcare, free tuition, free drugs, free abortions, free condoms, free needles, and free Obama campaign buttons.