The La Cumbre vocano, located in the Galapagos Islands, was seen spewing gas, ash, and lava on Saturday, after 4 years of inactivity. No human life is in danger, but several species of unique life forms are at risk.
Obama Administration officials announced they would take swift, decisive action to address the situation:
Secretary of State Clinton's office announced she would seek a UN resolution condeming the eruption as a defiance of international law and agreements. China and Russia may block strong language, and it is expected to be several weeks before a joint statement can be released.
Secretary of the Treasury Geithner announced that due to the volcano CEO's mismanagement, Geithner would fire the CEO and appoint a US Government blue ribbon panel to run the volcano, along with plans to force the volcano to take $100,000,000,000 in bailout dollars to help it recover.
Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar anounced plans to sue the volcano for wasting critical geothermal energy without his department's permission.
EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson said her agency would pursue legal action against the volcano's unregulated pollution of the atmosphere, and to make sure the volcano paid all applicable carbon taxes and fees.
Leader of the Senate Harry Reid (D-NV) said on the floor of a special emergency session of the Senate "The war against this eruption is lost".
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) pledged a bi-partisan effort to legalize eruption in all 50 states.
Vice President Joe Biden, addressing the situation on CNN this morning, said "I told that damn volcano it better not erupt ...".
President Obama was unavailable for comment. His press secretary, Robert Gibbs, told reporters that he wanted to study the situation for several days, to make sure he knew all sides of the issue and how all the other world powers would respond before committing himself to any kind of statement.
2 comments:
Goof.
Happy Easter!
Now THAT was an entertaining post ;)
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