Cletus and Bubba's Excellent Adventure

I went by a gun show today. It was not a 'major' one, but one located in a suburb of the DFW area. It was held in an old Home Depot building. Normally I wouldn't have a use for this, but thought I'd go look for some cheap .223 (that's bullets, for the uninformed) for a buddy. This ammo has been in short supply lately, with everyone stockpiling it in preparation for Obama outlawing our guns ....

Now, a disclaimer. I am very much in favor of our Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms in defense of our homes and families. I do own weapons, and have participated in shooting sports my entire adult life. I don't hunt - not because I have a moral problem with it, I just don't like killing things (except snakes!). However, I love to blow up targets and shoot holes in 'things'.

Rather than give you a cut and dry report on what I saw today, I'll invoke a couple of characters, loosely modeled after two of my favorite cartoon characters "Beavis and Butthead", to give a narrative of what I saw and heard from their point of view ...

Cletus and Bubba in "The Gun Show"

Cletus: "Bubba, ah cain't believe they're chargin eight bucks to get in this here place. Must be all them O'bama taxes".

Bubba: "G'Damn Ragheads".

Cletus: "Lookie thar at that feller. He must have 16 different types of M-16s on that table ..."

Bubba: "Yep, and that feller over there has four different books that tell a body how to make them shoot full auto ..."

Cletus: "Hey, over there. There's a life sized carboard cutout of Sarah Palin in her American bikini holding dat der machine gun. Let's git our piture taken with it."

Bubba: "Do you smell dat? Mmmmmm, smells like good vittles."

Cletus: "Yes, dat lady sure has some great looking pies."

(editor's note: A lady had two tables full of wonderful looking pies, cakes, and cookies, all 'baked fresh'. My mouth was watering big time, but before I picked up a buttermilk pie, I thought about how I did not have any idea where they had been cooked, what was in them, or who cooked them. Common sense won.)

Bubba: "Holy S***, Cletus. Look at da t*** on that b**** ...."

Cletus: "My god man, those gotta hold a gallon each ..."

(editor's note: middle aged lady manning a table full of pistols, probably weighing in the neighborhood of 225, with enormous 'personality' and a low cut top that showed cleavage right down to her belly button. An obvious hook to drag in customers to look at her 'wares' ... it was working.)

Bubba: "Cletus, that feller wants us to join his moolisher ..."

(editor's note: Two middle aged men, dressed in out of date BDUs. One showing full bird Colonel, the other Major. I look at the very official looking patch on their breast pocket, it says "United States Special Security Forces". WTF is that? Look closer. Sign says for a $25 donation, I can become an official member of this elite militia.)

Cletus: "And dat table over der has real Green Baray knives for only 49 bucks."

Bubba: " You wan some SWAT web gear to hang all our s*** from?"

Cletus: "We betta stock up on some vittles. Never know when Obama will cut off our food supply."

(editor's note: multiple tables with many different kinds of 'mystery' jerky. "Stock up for your survival stash" the sign says.)

Bubba: "Woohooo ... gots to have me a couple of dem Rebel flags for ma truck."

Cletus: "G'Damn, lookie der ... we need that .50 caliber sniper rifle for varmit huntin.'"

Cletus: " Wud you look at all da peestols ...".

(editor's note: hundreds of cheap 9mm and .45 caliber pistol knockoffs, table after table. A few tables of name brand weapons, but the cheaper ones are certainly the most offered.)

Bubba: "G'Damn Commie guns ..."

(editor's note: table after table of AK-47 knockoffs, and one table with some evil looking 100 round drum magazines for them. Just what your normal deer hunter needs.)

And on, and on, and on.....

Pretty much every stereotype of hick, redneck, backwoods gunowner was there for the world to see.

I was really surprised at the prices I saw there. No bargains, ammo was twice the price of retail outlets like Walmart. I heard a lot of vendors complaining about the lack of business ... well fellas, drop your prices down to reasonable, and you might sell something.

You know, if this type of occasion is the only exposure to gun owners a liberal ever got, I wouldn't blame the liberal for being scared to death .....